Welcome to A Father’s Voice for November 2007. This month’s column is called Fighting My Instincts to Help My Children. It is about how sometimes what we think is best for our kids can backfire in ways we never imagined and what we can do about it.

I am so proud to announce this column marks the second anniversary of A Father’s Voice. Two years of sharing my voice every month. I hope you will take a moment to check out my archives and see or hear some of my columns you might have missed.

The exciting news this month starts with BabyZone.com hiring me to write the father’s perspective for their pregnancy newsletter. It will consist of 40 short pieces on the ups and downs, joys and challenges of experiencing your partner’s pregnancy and getting as ready as possible for a new baby. The newsletter is expected to be available in early 2008. Parenting Plus, a parenting magazine based in Southern Florida, has begun publishing A Father’s Voice. I was also interviewed this month by Time Out New York Kids regarding my podcast and by Business Week TV. The Business Week TV interview focused on my experiences as a Dad as well as my perspective on how things are different for Dads now and whether companies are adjusting to meet the needs of this generation of fathers. It is expected to air November 18, 2007 at 11:30am on ABC (check your local listings for broadcast times in your area). It should also be available on their web site.

A Father’s Voice is my chance to share my voice with you about the challenges and rewards I experience trying to be a very involved father while having to work full-time away from our home. I write during the only disposable time of my day – my train ride to and from home.

Fighting My Instincts to Help My Children

By Jeremy G. Schneider, MFT

When we started selling our house and looking for a new one last year, I drew upon my years of therapy training and experience and my well-honed instincts and sat down with my almost four-year old twins and explained to them that we were looking for a new house. Every weekend we were going to be having open houses as well as looking for our new home; I didn’t want my children to get stressed out by what they were seeing, all the strange people, all of the talk of a new home. I wanted them to understand what was happening all around them.

That was easily my biggest mistake in the moving process.

My children – especially my little girl – became so stressed, so anxious, I’m not sure she has been the same since. She became afraid to go to school in the morning, afraid every time we left, afraid we were going to move without her, afraid she would be all alone, afraid she would not have a bed to sleep in. She became afraid to go to sleep at night and began having trouble sleeping through the night, waking up with nightmares. It was horrible and I felt terrible. I knew my talk had actually made everything worse for her instead of easier.