I have lunch every few weeks with two friends of mine, former co-workers who managed to escape. They are both women - one a little younger than me and one a little older. Two of us are married, two of us with children, two of us with a house though we all own. There are usually at least two of us with something in common when one of our discussions start. Last week’s lunch, after the ubiquitous update on our housing situation (before the bad news from the inspection), was at a nice little place on the west side of 14th street in Manhattan (middle ground for the three of us). As always, it was a lovely break from the day-to-day grind.

During our discussion I was struck by something that has been reverberating in my brain ever since. (more…)

When my alarm went off this morning the business report on NPR was coming through loud and clear, but it took me a few moments to realize what was going on. Then my mind started to become alert and I realized for the first night in I don’t know how long, I actually slept through the entire night.

WOW, did it feel good! (more…)

I have been sick since the middle of December; I just can’t seem to get healthy and it is beginning to really take a toll. There’s always the physical toll of being sick, of not feeling well, of feeling weaker, drained and not being able to get everything done. But there is a more dangerous toll, a psychological toll, which is beginning to exact itself on my mind.

I spent most of my childhood sick. (more…)

I was putting my Okapis to bed the other night and I was sitting with Jordyn, going over her Happy Thoughts. It was Sunday night and we had spent a lot of time together that weekend, just the three of us – including our Los Tres Amigos Sabado Saturday morning. We also had some time Sunday morning, which actually ended up being more enjoyable. I had already told them I didn’t have to go to work on Monday and we were all excited about the extra time. (more…)

Gem and I were sitting in our little office area last night, running the numbers to try and figure out how we will be able to afford our new house. We had put in a low-end bid for a house we really liked, but never really expected them to accept it. When the borker called us last night to let us know it had been accepted, no one was more surprised, and caught off-guard, than us. We are closer than ever to ending this horrific process of buying and selling our home and the reality of change is sinking in. New house, new neighborhood, new train schedule, new everything. It is 3:17am and I am not writing this on the train. I am sitting in the same spot where Gem and I talked.

Clearly, I am handling everything just fine. (more…)

I distinctly remember her tumbling down the stairs on Sunday, seeing her summersault down, head over feet until she hit the bottom. I was powerless, sitting at the wrong end of the dinner table and didn’t even move. I knew right away there was nothing I could do and Gem was already at the bottom of the stairs when Jordyn started her descent. (more…)