Last week sitting and watching Elijah in his For Boys Only class, I was overwhelmed with a boiling pot of emotions – most of which I have not yet been able to articulate in any verbal way (I know…Me? Not able to articulate something? I’m working on it, I promise). However, there was one path of emotions I was able to tease out and follow and I came face-to-face with my fear that Elijah is so much like me and all of the feelings that brings up for me – including how much of an impact did genetics have in my childhood?

But when I look at Elijah, I am even more overwhelmed by the power of genetics and have come to believe that nurture, that our role as parents, is primarily to smooth the rough edges of their predefined temperaments and personalities. Our Okapis were not born as a clean slate upon which we could create whatever we wanted. They were born with built-in temperaments, ways of handling situations, ways of dealing with the world and we’re just trying to help them overcome some of the limitations or side-effects of their genetic make-up. It is incredibly clear when I look at my little boy, so much so that it made me wonder how much I went through has really affected me and how much was genetic traits of my family.

In my post on Dadbloggers, I go on to discuss the similarities Elijah and I have, mostly similarities I wish he didn’t have to deal with. In the end I know it falls on me to smooth out his rough edges as much as possible and to help him get through the challenges we aren’t able to smooth over.

But it all begs the question; Which has a stronger influence on our children? Nature or Nurture?

After a glorious weekend and a lovely evening, the Okapis woke up a bit early this morning. I, thankfully, was actually running a few minutes early and I went upstairs to spend a couple of minutes with them before I brought them downstairs.

When I walked in and tried to cuddle with Elijah, I heard, “I wanted Mommy!”

Okay. Apparently, our joyous period is over.

Then Jordyn came over and I picked her up and we went into her bed and she just snuggled right on top of me. It was so comfortable, so delicious, so everything great about being a Daddy wrapped up in one moment. Her hair kept getting in my mouth, she kept moving her head around, trying to get in deeper into my shoulders and chest, and it was a perfect moment.

Sure, Elijah was complaining and getting upset from his bed on the other side of the room, but we stopped caring, just staying cuddled together, enjoying the moment.

Finally, I remembered that I have stupid work to go to and I broke the moment. But that is a wonderful way to start my day.

Me and my little girl, snuggled together.

I just put my Okapis to bed and it was delicious. I’m on such a great streak with them and I’ve been a Dad long enough to know it won’t last much longer. I’ve also been a Dad long enough to know, I deserve this and so do they, so I’m going to enjoy it as long and as much as I can.

It didn’t start off so well. Gem was getting ready to leave for yoga and both Okapis kept saying, “But I’m going to miss you, Mommy.” Every minute or two. They hadn’t had a nap today and that only made things worse. Then at one point Jordyn, my dear adorable Jordyn, decided she wanted some trouble so she refused to eat and didn’t sit facing the table even after we told her to do so several times. So she got a time out, which she refused to go to and decided to sit correctly at the table. However, we don’t work like that in our house – she still got her time out. I had to lift her up and carry her to it, though. When she sat by the railing with streamers attached to them (hold on while I cut those off before I forget…okay, thanks) I sat her down over on the other side and I said don’t move or you’ll have to sit on the stairs (we basically have two time out areas, one at the bottom of the stairs and the other actually on the stairs where they can’t see the TV or us or anything).

She moved over just a foot or so and looked me right in the eye.

I took her upstairs and she screamed and screamed and screamed.

Finally, when Gem left they both cried as if the whole world was ending. I, I am proud to say, handled it quite well. I didn’t take it personally tonight (the advantage of having such a lovely weekend). I heard them when they said they missed her and I did what I had to do until they calmed down. Once they calmed down, we ended up having another lovely evening together. Reading books and tucking them into bed was so delicious that I decided I couldn’t even wait until morning to write about it. Here I am 8:48pm writing about it, missing the beginning of Monday Night Football where the Okapi Football League could possibly end up with a 6-way tie for first place this week if Minnesota wins.

Very exciting stuff going on in the Okapi household, folks. Very exciting stuff.

I actually like being happy like this.

It’s true.

Last night we went to Friendly’s with Abuelita, who is leaving for South America in a couple of days and wanted to take us out to dinner. Who are we to argue with a grandmother’s wishes?

As we got ready to go, Gem put a new sweater on Elijah and he looked incredibly handsome. I mean, he has always been a pretty good looking boy, but something about his face and the red color of the sweater, he looked dashing, GQ-like. Throughout dinner, we all kept making some remark about how gorgeous he looked.

Then, while we were having an enjoyable end to an utterly enjoyable and delightful weekend, eating our food (they didn’t even need us to tell them to eat!), looking forward to dessert (our second of the day – we are such bad nutritional role models), Jordyn said something with her mouth full.

“What Jordyn?” one of us asked.

“I’m never coming back here. The chicken is TOO spicy!” And she made the most adorable face I have ever seen. It was so adorable that my body was rocked with the waves of adorableness reverberating off of her.

There is just something so wonderful about feeling so overwhelmed with love for your Okapis that you have a physical reaction to it. What a weekend!

Gem and I had a fight last week about how often she goes to Yoga. She used to go Thursday nights, which then became Los Tres Amigos Thursdays and were both challenging and fun – though not always at the same time. But now she is going Monday nights and either Wednesday nights or Thursday mornings and Saturday mornings. Our fight happened last Saturday after yoga and I realized it was because I felt like I had to wait with the Okapis until she returned instead of having time with them myself to do something fun together.

Well, folks, if I am anything, I am a man of action. So, welcome to Los Tres Amigos Saturdays!

(Hey, if it worked once, wouldn’t I be stupid not to do it again?)

Saturday was the first Los Tres Amigos Saturday and I am happy and proud to report it was an unmitigated success! I had such a good time and it is very possibly my Okapis did, too. I took them out to breakfast at iHop (I know, I know…no Chocolate Chocolate Chip Pancakes) where not only did they behave pretty darn well, but we had a nice time. Then we went to the mall and the first place we visited was the Apple Store.

Now, I’m not a Mac guy. I don’t have a Mac, have almost never used a Mac, though I am still, totally and completely in-love with my iPod. But the Apple Store has things they call computers (though that mouse doesn’t have a right-click button, which is very hard for me to deal with) and my Okapis love to play their computer games. So we did. Who am I to get in the way of my Okapis’ technical development? They, unfortunately, didn’t have the games they used to have there, so we played some new ones, which were not as good. In the previous games, they had a concentration-type game which Elijah could play by himself, moving the mouse, making the matches, clicking the cards, etc. It was quite amazing to watch. These were not quite as much fun, but they weren’t terrible. At least, I didn’t walk out of there going, “Man, I really need to buy a Mac.”

Because I believe in helping my Okapis have new and interesting experiences, I thought they would really benefit from some time in the Godiva Chocolate store. (Look, after a whole of week of making them eat their vegetables and other foods, I really wanted to be able to share something decadent with them – just the three of us. Is there anything wrong with that?) I ordered Jordyn an Almond Crunch and Elijah a White Chocolate Truffle, which just goes to show you how much I love that little boy (I can only repeat what I have said before, “White Chocolate? Where have I gone wrong?”). They enjoyed them both so much I bought them one more of each. Then I bought a chocolate peanut butter cup, which Jordyn and I shared because we both love the peanut butter and the chocolate – especially together. I also bought some Dark Chocolate Truffle Hot Chocolate Mix because that is what I use in their Chocolate Chocolate Chip Pancakes and I was running low.

Then we had some fun exploring the sporting goods store, had another snack (a Mrs. Fields cookie) and played around in Pottery Barn Kids.  We got home in time for lunch and then nap. It was quite an enjoyable morning – one of the best I have had in a very long time.

Now instead of feeling like I’m waiting for Gem to come back from yoga and feeling bitter she is doing something for herself, I get to do something for myself with my Okapis – have non-stress time together. Everybody wins!

I am already looking forward to next Saturday.

This whole week I’ve had a craving – I mean one that actually didn’t include chocolate. I’ve had a craving for peanut butter and Cheez-Its. My wife thinks it is really disgusting and I don’t want the Okapis to pick this up from me. Not because I think it is disgusting, but because to me, and I just figured this out this week, peanut butter and Cheez-Its are comfort food for me. Some people like soup, others mashed potatoes, but for me it’s peanut butter and Cheez-Its. This got me thinking how that happened. So I thought I would invite you over to dinner in the house I grew up in to better explain. Don’t worry, nothing really bad ever happened when we had guests.

Dinner at my house growing up was an every man, boy, girl, or woman for him/herself kind of deal. We had dinner together as a family – the four of us – about 10 times a year, I think, though I don’t even remember that many. That meant normally I ate by myself or with my sister. My primary dinner? Three yogurts. In fact, I so associate yogurt with sitting alone at our kitchen table and all the feelings connected with it, that it took me years before I could eat yogurt again. When I say years, I really mean decades, as in two decades. I like yogurt very much, but when I bought it, it would sit in the refrigerator because I never wanted to eat it, I shied away from it because of all it reminded me of. Bizarre, huh? It was only when I poured it into a bowl and combined it with granola that I could enjoy it again.

Dinner at my house growing up was all about getting it over as fast as I could. Eating was a chore – except for breakfast, which I always had cereal – still do to this day start every morning with a bowl of cereal (except of course when I make my famous Chocolate Chocolate Chip Pancakes). Even if my sister and mother were already awake (my father was usually at work by around 6:00 or 6:30 every morning), I would eat my cereal in the dining room with the The Philadelphia Inquirer sports page, while they were in the kitchen, separated by a swinging door. My main goal for eating lunch and dinner was getting them over with as fast as humanly possible, ridding myself of hunger quickly and painlessly.

In school and camp, as a kid, I would just skip lunch so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. When I went out with friends, I would almost never eat in front of them. In my mind there was always something that showed weakness about letting other people see me eat – if people knew I ate (as if they didn’t already – which I think is the same way I felt about going to the bathroom) they would think less of me and showed some strength that I didn’t “need” food.

For dinner I used to time myself to see how quickly I could eat the three yogurts. Maybe I went a little crazy and boiled some pasta or had some mac and cheese or “baked” some frozen pizza (woo hoo - and you thought I never lived on the edge).

However, I did always take the time to “cook” my dessert. I would toast my Hydrox cookies or Chips Ahoy so they would melt in my mouth. It was one of the only joys I experienced – especially when it came to food.

Somehow peanut butter and Cheez-Its never got associated with all of my childhood. Interestingly enough, I think it is because there was something of a ritual about it. I realized it when I satisfied that craving Monday night. Grabbing the Cheez-Its and the peanut butter, a plate and knife and sitting down in front of the TV to watch Monday Night Football. I took a huge knife helping of peanut butter and spread it on the plate. The I grabbed a couple of handfuls of Cheez-Its and put them on the plate as well. Then I would take a cracker and scoop up a little peanut butter. If I got too much I would pick up some other Cheez-Its with the peanut butter in order to have the perfect Cheez-It to peanut butter ratio, making a makeshift sandwich. It is lazy man’s peanut butter crackers, but it was strangely comforting and it was very enjoyable to eat.

Sometimes giving into your cravings can be quite satisfying and even enlightening – despite it grossing your wife out.