SchoolFamily.com has published an article on children who have a good track record in school and good behavior, but then get caught cheating called, When Your Child Cheats, Take A Parental Time Out. In the article, they quote Jeremy extensively about the things a parent needs to consider when their child cheats and what it may mean for them and their family.
“Parents need to take a time out for themselves to view their reaction,” says Jeremy Schneider, a New York-based therapist, blogger, and syndicated columnist who specializes in parenting and relationships. “Otherwise, we go off on [the child] because we’re embarrassed, angry, whatever, and end up adding fuel to a fire that might not be there.”
It is important to understand how your child got to the point where they felt cheating was the best option for them to solve their problem.
“There could be time-management issues that she needs help thinking through. There’s so much pressure [for teens] to succeed at such an early age now, vs. getting the skills they need—mentally and emotionally—to succeed in life.”
Parents may also need to think about any pressure we’ve been adding to our children’s lives.
Another factor is that kids want their parents to be proud of them. “They feel an added pressure to prove us right,” Schneider says. “And when they aren’t able to, they want to save us from that experience [of them not doing well], but sometimes without thinking through the consequences.
“It’s hard to remember how our kids view us,” he adds. “Not as people, but as all-powerful beings. A sense of desperation to avoid [letting parents down] can lead to cheating.”
When good kids cheat, it is more a symptom of a larger problem, than the actual problem itself. By addressing the larger issues, there is a very good chance we can prevent the cheating from ever happening again.